I just received this (slightly edited to protect identities) in an email from a coworker:
"I am writing to inform everyone that today is my last day. I've just purchased the winning Powerball lottery tickets (worth $340 million dollars), and after tonight, I feel that it will be time to move on. Please, do not cry, I know this is hard for everyone (well... almost everyone...). Next time I'm in town, maybe I'll buy everyone a cup of coffee, my treat. I'll even let you get one of those expensive latte drinks with the sprinkles on top."