Mile 20 to 21 were mostly down hill and my pace was okay 7:48. I was now about 38 seconds behind pace and knew I needed to pick it up.
Somewhere around mile 20 I started using the clock to gauge pace instead of my watch. I knew I needed to be 20 seconds ahead of the last clock at each mile in order to make it on time. So I wasn't happy to see those seconds on the clock going the wrong way at 22. 8:05 My brain started to try and calculate paces I would need to get in at 3:25, under 3:26, or PR pace under 3:27. The math seemed to be right and I knew even if I could only hold 8 minute miles I should still PR and maybe sneak in under 3:26.
The course was warming up and I kept taking Gatorade at every station but now I was adding a cup of water to the mix too. Drinking half dumping the rest on my head to cool off.
My quads were starting to cramp and sear with pain and my left calf as always started to sear as well. Each step was becoming more painful and I did my best to run through the pain, but mile 23 that damn clock was still going in the wrong direction. 8:17
I had driven the course a month prior to the race and wondered where the heck the hill was around 24 that all the runners I met last year had complained about. Everything looked pancake flat to me. So I was a bit disdained when from 23 to 24 we were running up a famous false flat and my pace was faltering despite my efforts. 8:49 During this mile I listened as a man asked to borrow a cell from his buddy and proceeded to call his mother to let him know he was coming in ahead of pace. His mother wanted all the details as he assured her he just wanted her to call his coach to let him know he would be there ahead of schedule. Funny how he would take time out to call her but was shocked when he did that she wanted to know details :) She is his mother after all!
At this point I was having a repeat of Columbus all over again. Each mile instead of hitting at 7:41 I was hitting at 8 or slower. Each mile the volunteer would announce my predicted finish time and each mile it would move slowly from 3:24 to 3:25 to 3:26 to 3:29 and with my legs refusing to do their part, the pain and the mental block from this Columbus deja vu I lost it. I had started to miss hand offs at the aid station. Knocking cups out of the volunteers hands rather than making eye contact and getting what I wanted on the first try as usual. Just after the best aid station on the course (to me) where cross country runners were an extreme boost I came upon a tiny but steep hill and I broke. I just couldn't force myself to run up it and for the first time that day I walked. I stopped looking at my watch and just suffered my way to the finish line, giving up all hopes of 3:25 or even a PR. Mile 25 was the longest of the day including two walks uphill at 9:38.
My legs were searing with pain and I remarked to a female beside me that this wasn't how I planned to finish out the day. She said the same. We leap frogged our way to the finish, and I tried my best to pick up pace in the final mile. Laughing at myself for earlier that day thinking this might be my fastest mile. I smiled for photographers but stopped and walked as soon as I passed them. No spectator or draw of the finish chute was getting me going. My friend in pink was in front of me again and I let her pull me to the finish. Mile 26 in 8:23 and the final .2 in 1:46.
I finished in 3:29:39. Good enough for top 50 women and 13th in my age group. Just over 2 minutes behind my PR at Columbus. My second best marathon time.
I felt cheated as I wandered around the finish line stations. I knew deep inside I was ready for 3:25, in my heart I felt I was ready for even faster than that. I was broken not by any of the major hills in the beginning but by false flats and mini bumps in the road towards the finish. I had run on target all day to come up short in the final miles. I think it was harder on me mentally to lose it so late in the day than it would have been if I had been off target the whole way.
My stomach felt off and I searched for potato chips and other edible items. I snarfed down an apple and some water and made my way to the grassy knoll where my friends who had already finished were basking in the sun. I felt like the party pooper. Everyone else had just PR'ed, all of them coming off marathon or ultra runs just three weeks prior. Here I was completely prepared and tapered and I couldn't come out with the planned pace.
I congratulated them all and made some quick phone calls to let loved ones and friends know I was done. As I reached my dad I realized that I was in dire need of a restroom and that my "off" stomach was about to be a full blown system melt down. Can I just say longest most terrifying walk ever. Thank goodness I made it. I threw back two Imodium that I thankfully had in my bag and made the long trek back to my car and then the drive to our friends apartment where I felt like I was going to die for about 3 hours. Having to bail on the post marathon celebrations and not getting to head out and cheer like I had planned.
Thankfully TriSara was able to chat with me on my long walk to the car. I was so grateful to have a friend to vent to while I tried to hold off all stomach issues and tried not to cry every time I walked over a curb. After a long nap and several more Imodium I was finally up for moving and we spent the rest of the day at the dog park then off for ice cream and a movie. I was just glad I felt better, and reminded myself how lucky I am to be able to run a marathon at all, and to come so close to my goal despite obviously not being 100% towards the end of the run.
22 comments:
I always plan to run the final miles even or faster than the rest. It never seems to work out but it seems silly to committ to going out fast and leaving "extra" time at the end. Maybe that's the best strategy for you and I. Don't beat yourself up over it. We'll figure it out someday... and like I said, I guarantee you will have at least a handful of sub-3:25's to your name in 5-10 years!
wow. tough post to read. In the big picture of relativity, after 26.2 miles, you were merely minutes off of one of your best performances ever. But, that's hard to accept when you put in all the work and felt trained and ready, and ran so much of it on pace to PR. It sounds like toward the end your body did it's own thing and took your spirit down with it too. Sometimes races are like that, and you don't even know what lesson you're supposed to learn from it. But be sure, that next time when you pass mile 20, you'll have the memory and will want to overcome it. For now, just try your best to look at that bigger picture and move on with your training.
sub 3:30 is still a great time! Congrats on finishing Cleveland as well.
Ugh. what a tough way to finish. It is SOOO hard to turn that kind of situation around once things start getting bad in the final 10K. I've been there, and I think most of the rest of us have, too. So don't be too hard on yourself.
Congrats on your (still) impressive time, and your determination to complete the race. You'll get that goal time, I'm pretty certain.
Yeah - Amy Berger brought it back (she brought several back - I remember she had one for you, too) for me when I was house sitting for her. That summer that she went to China I house sat for her. I've always liked it and hung it up in every apartment I've lived in.
Hope you're well!
Monica
That experience is going to serve you well in the future.You have many more PRs to come in your running career.
Congrats on a great race!.
Glad you had fun yesterday.
I truly think the bad Gatorade got you. You will get it next time for sure! Running a marathon just 2 weeks later is incredible also my friend. Look forward to seeing you Wednesday!
I am still amazed at how well you did despite feeling so awful and having to mainline Immodium AD like you were. Ugh. It's a true testament to your talent.
That being said, I know how disappointed you were for this to happen in the last few miles and to be so close. Try to focus on the positive, though (I know, easy for the pregnant chick to say)...that is NOT an easy course. You still had an extremely impressive time, especially considering the overall and age group finishing, too! In my humble opinion, you still kick serious ass. :)
ahh, liz. i know EXACTLY how you feel. remember what you said to me--that it is better to run a gutsy race than to play it safe and not know what you could actually do. you'll get it next time...
I'm only doing a HM Sunday but I hope if I'm having problems I can gut it out like you did. To only be off a few minutes with your problems is still a great race.
One day I hope to be fit enough to run a marathon "for fun". May you smash your goal with the next one.
I know it stings a little bit now. But you did do great. Sometimes we just have to give it our best shot. And you did more than that..
Rest up.
No matter what, there is no way to plan out a race 100%. Your body, not your mind, will decide how the race will go. That's one of the great mysteries about being an athlete...sometimes you can set out to do a training race and end up getting a major PR, and other times you can plan the other way around and end up having a crappy race. This just happened to be one of those days. But there will be other marathons in your future, and many other chances to go sub-3:25. Keep your chin up. :)
Congrats on a good race, under 3:30 is a great time.
oh ..... tough reading this ... i felt the last few miles and you deserve a hug
the time doesn't tell the story .... a great result on paper but the painful ending is what your race was all about .... crossing the line was a great victory and showed your courage .... it will serve you well in future
You stuck it out like a trooper. Be upset until being upset starts to mess with you. Then start looking forward to the many awesome finishes awaiting you in future. You toughed it out when many folks would have walked far more than one or two hills. You rock!
you toe'd the line, you represented, you got it done...
you gave it your all...
you know it!
toughcookie has it right -- you can't plan everything. that's why it hurts so bad when the result is off. It's just your body's way of telling you you're not really in charge, after all.
I know that last little hill at the end. My Pig experience ended on a very high note, and when I flew up that hill, I knew it was going to end well. Next time you're there, I'm guessing you'll feel that, too.
Way to gut it out. After the proper review time, all marathon finishes are good ones.
A great time even though it's not what you wanted. Congratulations! There is always next time for your 3:25 :)
Are you still talking about The Pig?
Sorry to hear it didn't go as planned.
I can't help but wonder if you'd be better served by more running and less cross-training
Nonetheless, you still posted an AWESOME time...only a dream time for many of us! Sorry to hear about the stomach issues.
Wow, Elizabeth. You can really bring it home, girl. I could almost feel that "I am going to die if I take another step" feeling after a marathon like that...and I wanted to cry for you. UGH. So sorry. You were still great though. I know it wasn't the goal time you were shooting for, but you still ran an a amazingly gutsy race and left it all out there on the course. No doubt you'll get your 3:25 soon. You are an amazing runner.
I ran this marathon last year too. I am doing it again this year. Your time is awesome, IMO.
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